Musings: Depressed

Wow! This topic is certainly a doozy. It immediately brings up a lot of emotion and recollection. To admit that I have been depressed is something that I do not like to do but to admit that I have had severe depression is quite another. 

I have fallen deep within the well of despair many times and otherwise fallen clearly down that rabbit hole. I have ruminated and worried about what is, will be or has been. Upon much self-reflection, estimation and analysis through the years, I see depression as all the worries we have had in the past time period while worries in the future arises as anxiety in us. In either case, the biggest problem is that we are not living in the present moment, realizing and appreciating with gratitude all that is great and good already in our lives.

Depression is cycling through all the old, negative guck. It is remembering all that which did not go as well as we had hoped or would want it to be. It is about holding on with a firm grip like your fingers around a pencil that you do not want to let go of but that we need to let go of. We need to unclench our fingers from the object that we have spent so much time being attached to.

The thing is that the past is gone. What happened has happened. Even if you were abused as a child or if you were mistreated by deceitful people with ill, malicious or involuntary intent, what can you do about it? If it is possible or necessary for your soul’s growth to do something legal, then perhaps you should. Otherwise, let bygones be bygones, release and let go.

If you learned a lesson, it was valuable. Perhaps, you need to share this message of warning with other people in which case writing a book or sharing in some respects may be in order. Even when you have done so, you will still need to let go of it all and forgive in the end. 

I ask that you and I live in the “present now” as Eckart Tolle recommends and see the value of this powerful everlasting moment for that is all there is.

Mary Mikawoz
February 13, 2023

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